Sometimes we need levity in our lives thus God created humor, or maybe it is us that created humor sometimes at the expense of the church. Regardless of how, when or where… I thought a little levity was in order so I’ve stolen (or borrowed) some quips from books that were sent to me by our dear Uncle Slim.
Laugh and the Whole Church Laughs With You, various authors
“Smiles are as contagious as yawns – but they’re much more pleasing to your pastor. Joy and laughter can be found wherever you worship, rom a church bulletin blooper to the unintended gaffe of an enthusiastic minister to the innocent words of a child in Sunday school. One smile lifts many spirits, so share a spiritual laugh today.”
Okay, if you have never actually sat in a pew on Sunday mornings with my brood than you would not have the true experience of the things that generally come out of Zachary’s four year old mouth, or Eli’s quick comments that sometimes should be checked by the screeners before coming out. Regardless, I can completely relate to the fact that the smallest of things can bring the funniest of moments, and that God loves to hear laughter as much as the raising of a voice in song. At least I like to think so.
“Please join us for an all-you-can-eat dinner, followed by a sermon on gluttony by Father Bill.”
George Burns, “The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.”
(I seriously, and probably wrongly, laughed out loud)… “A man is struck by a bus on a busy street in New York City. He lies dying on the sidewalk as a crowd of spectators gathers around. “A priest. Somebody get me a priest!” the man gasps. A police officer surveys the crows: no priest, no minister, no officer of God of any kind.
“A priest, please!” the dying man says again. Then out of the crowd steps an elderly Jewish man. “Officer,” says the man, “I’m not a priest. I’m not even Catholic. But for 50 years now I’ve lived behind St. Elizabeth’s Catholic Church on First Avenue, and every night I listen to the Catholic litany. So maybe I can be of some comfort to this poor dying man.”
The police officer agrees, and he leads the old man over to where the dying man lies. The man kneels down, leans over the injured, and beings in a solemn voice, “B-4, I-19. N-38. G-54, O-72…”
“Church Happenings: Today’s marital workshop, “Make Time for Your Marriage” has been canceled due to a scheduling conflict.”
Last one (for now)…
“Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some of the older ones.”